


Shenanigans with the Batkids

by FanficsandFeelings



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Hal is smug, Halloween, I'm a month late for halloween, the batkids are little shits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 03:48:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8650210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanficsandFeelings/pseuds/FanficsandFeelings
Summary: I'm a month late for Halloween but here's a little fic that I forgot to write in time.The Batkids annoy the Batdad with decorations and smugness.





	

Bruce Wayne’s kids were driving him around the bend. Of course, he would never admit that to them, that’s what they wanted. And they would never admit that they were purposely trying (and succeeding) in making him go absolutely mad.

 

It had started with Dick, he’d loved every member of the Justice League as if it were a family to him, and in a way it was. It brought him comfort and security, knowing that Bruce, who for all intents and purposes was his dad, was not alone. That there were people like him that wanted to see the world become a better place.

 

Of course, Dick had members that he thought were just too cool, he was still a kid after all. Those members that he thought were just amazing, his absolute favorites, weren’t Bruce, or rather, Batman. Obviously, Bruce still understood that Dick loved Batman, but the thing with Dick was that he was so used to Batman. He knew all the moves, played with all the bat-gadgets, he’d even seen all (or most) of the fights up close and personal. It wasn’t a new and fascinating thing for Dick like it was for other kids, so it was to be expected that Dick had a preference for the newer superheroes who were still showing their powers and limitations in battle.

 

Bruce thought it was adorable when Dick got excited about going as superman for Halloween. He went the full nine yards and even got Dick’s costume custom made. He spent the entire night trick-or-treating in Metropolis so that Dick could “really be like Superman”. The other Leaguers teased him about it, especially Superman considering they’d made a pit stop at Clark’s apartment just for shits and giggles.

 

Bruce, however, found it considerably less adorable when Dick requested to go as Green Lantern next Halloween. Of course, little Dick didn’t know about Hal being Bruce’s….less than favorite person. But Bruce being Bruce and Dick being Dick, with his adorable little puppy dog eye’s complied with Dicks request. The same as he did for the next year when Dick had requested to go as Green Lantern again, and the year after that, and so on and so forth. Bruce tried to dissuade him after the first time, asking if he’d much prefer to mix things up and go as something different instead of sticking to the same costume year after year. He was always met with a stubborn ‘No’ from Dick.

 

Eventually, Dick had caught on to why Bruce was always trying to get him to change up his costume. And oh boy, did he have fun with it. Slowly but surely, Green Lantern merchandise started to infest the manor. It was innocent at first, a little keychain attached to Dick’s schoolbag, a plushie for his bed. It soon grew into bed covers and wall decals, curtains and themed clothes worn nearly every day. Dick did still think Green Lantern was cool, but for the most part, everything he bought was for the sake of seeing Bruce do that little eye-twitch thing he did when he was trying to keep quiet about something.

 

Knowledge such as this was something Dick freely shared with his siblings. It was an amazing feeling, really. It brought them together, it unified them, they worked as a better team than they ever had before. They were siblings with a noble and just cause. The noble and just cause to annoy their father in any way they knew how.

 

They were all very sneaky about it, having Batman as a teacher in that department helped. Bruce would walk in what would seem to be mid conversation when in actuality they just heard him coming down the hall and decided on a pre-prepared script.

 

This was one of these times when Bruce had just been sauntering around the halls, thinking about what had yet to be done, with both Batman and Wayne Enterprises when he’d heard chatter coming from the library. It was Barbara and Steph, giggling like they were schoolgirls again. The sound wasn’t one he heard often and he smiled to himself, silently enjoying hearing his kids just be kids. That was until he got close enough to make out what they were saying.

 

“So we’re in agreement then? The best ass in the Justice League is without a doubt The Green Lantern. ”

 

“Oh no competition there, honestly it’s just so-”

 

Bruce had left before the descriptions started. There's no way in hell he could handle that.

 

There were only two ways this game could end, either the kids would eventually grow tired of annoying him (unlikely) or (more likely) Bruce would eventually lose. Obviously, it surprised no one when the latter scenario played out.

 

The Wayne mansion was decked out in decorations when Bruce came back from work that day, cobwebs and fake headstones, just the right amount of creepy. Bruce loved it, his kids all getting along, decorating the house and preparing the goodies for the kids. It wasn’t his favorite time of year, with about a hundred college boys dressing up as the joker for college parties. It’s camouflage for Gotham's worst at its finest. Still, he thought this time of year was good, minus the zombie jokes from Damian and Jason.

 

Unbeknownst to Bruce, the grand finale of the Green Lantern based torture was in the midst of being set up. They had all planned it out perfectly of course. Jason with his scarily skillful carving of the Green Lantern symbol into the pumpkins, Dick with his luminous green paint, also on the pumpkins, and Damian, who had decided that there was no such thing as overkill had designed unique Green Lantern based costumes. Duke helped too, with his idea to get special green flame candles for the pumpkins. The girls made bunting and hung it all around the house, with Cass hanging them off the chandelier for extra effect.

 

So there they were, all eagerly waiting for Bruce to come home, decked to the nines in Green Lantern themed clothes. Alfred, of course, wanted none of this, if he so happened to be wearing a green tie that day then it was purely coincidental.

 

When Bruce came through those doors, his reaction was a thing of beauty. His face went redder than the Robin costume, his vein pulsing in his neck, the eye twitch was going absolutely crazy.

 

Then it came. A smug voice from right behind him.

 

“Well if I knew you were such a big fan I would have taken a couple of pictures with you, maybe even signed your cape!” Hal Jordan himself, with his arm slung around Bruce’s shoulders, was smiling smugly as if he’d won the lottery.

 

Bruce slowly removed himself from under Hal’s arm, looking as though he had been forced to hug a rotting corpse.

 

“Get out of my house right now.” Bruce stood by the door holding it open and gesturing with his arm to the exit.

 

“Alright, alright, don’t get you bat-panties in a twist, I was leaving anyway” Hal signaled goodbye to Bruce and winked at the kids, still smiling and walked out the front door.

 

“You too, all of you.” He turned to his children, who looked like Santa had come early, only to see their faces fall as they all looked at each other uneasily.

 

“You can’t kick us out, we live here!” Damian stood forward, looking at his father in part annoyance and part anger.

 

“Not for the next few hours you don’t, now out,” Bruce said, watching his children slowly realise that he meant business and shuffle out one by one.

 

The next day Bruce was acting as if nothing had happened, perfectly normal. He sat down with his coffee in hand, greeted is children, who had arrived home at around midnight with a smile and wished them a good morning and retired to his study until the newspaper arrived.

 

“Bruce Wayne shows love for his favorite superhero in Green Lantern Halloween tribute”

 

Needless to say, Bruce yelled louder than if he was infected with Scarecrow’s fear gas.


End file.
